So I shouldn’t be working on my laptop while my partner is falling asleep???

We can’t drive this home enough. The only two things a bed should be used for are:

1. Sleep

2. Sex

And right now, there’s probably a flood of other activities that are coming to mind that you are doing instead, or more, than just sleeping and having intimate moments.

What’s wrong with doing other things in the bedroom?

We’re glad you asked! Essentially, our brains form associations with places. In the case of the bedroom, if you’re doing anything other than what it’s meant for (sleep and sex), then your mind and body won’t recognize it as a place for rest or intimacy.

So when it’s time to do either of those two things—both of which are very important to our health and wellbeing—it’s challenging to fully immerse ourselves and experience quality sleep or sex. Actually, learning to associate the bedroom with sleep is an approach used in cognitive behavioral therapy to help combat insomnia.

Having multiple distractions or stimuli will interfere both with our ability to get good rest and good sex. And that just doesn’t sound pleasant or ideal! So how can you make sure you are thriving in both of these departments? You need to avoid and eliminate any other distractions.

As Dr. Michael T. Murray states: “Your body and mind should recognize your bedroom as a place of rest and intimacy. By subtracting simple things like devices, outside noise, and adding good hygiene, using your bed for the sole purpose of sleep and sex, can truly improve and benefit your well-being.”

What to avoid doing once you’re in bed

Texting or checking social media

Our phones have quickly become an extension of us. It’s almost natural to want to text or scroll through our social media feed mindlessly before we slip under the covers. However, the blue light that emits from our handheld devices keeps us stimulated and prolongs wake time. Not only that, but excessive social media use is shown to hinder our sleep at night. If need be, put your phone on the other side of the room or in another room entirely.

Working

Remember the question at the beginning of the article? Using our laptops and catching up on some work in bed seems comfortable and nice, but it’s actually disruptive to our mind’s mental associations with the bed. According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard, “Keeping computers, TVs, and work materials out of the room will strengthen the mental association between your bedroom and sleep.”

Additionally, our work lives can often be responsible for a lot of stress and worry. Boundaries are especially important in this case, because you don’t want to feel like you’re always at work.

Watching TV or playing video games

In a similar vein to the two things mentioned above, watching TV or playing video games stimulates the brain because of the blue light coming off the screen, especially considering most of us watch TV on our laptops or computers nowadays. So binge-watching Netflix or Hulu before bed? Studies suggest this is a threat to sleep quality and an increased likelihood of disturbing dreams. Not to mention that action packed dramas or video games aren’t necessarily conducive if we’re trying to get to a place of rest and relaxation.

Martin Reed, a certified clinical sleep health expert told Bustle: “Although you may find watching TV in bed to be relaxing, when you do this you are training your mind that the bed is a place to watch TV rather than a place exclusively for sleep”

Eating

And the last thing you should certainly avoid bringing into the bedroom at all costs is food. There’s a number of reasons why eating in the bedroom isn’t ideal. For one, it doesn’t fall into the categories of either sleep or sex; you’ll be associating your bed with a place to consume food. Secondly, it’s too easy for crumbs to get everywhere—in the sheets and under the bed. Unfortunately that can draw plenty of unwanted critters.

How to eliminate bedroom distractions

It’s time to get over using your bed and sleep space for anything other than sleep and sex. So how can you best ensure that your bedroom is free of the above distractions?

Create separate dedicated activity spaces

Relocate any distractions to other rooms. Consume food in your kitchen space, watch TV/play video games in a living room space and work anywhere else but the bedroom. Make use of your home in a way that designates specific rooms or areas for different tasks.

Create an evening routine

Create a bedtime routine specifically made for wind down activities such as meditating or reading. If you sleep with a partner, this could be intimate time spent in the bed together. As long as you’re going into bed with the intention of doing something that puts you in the mindset of sleep or sex, then your setting yourself up for a good night’s rest.

Even just dedicating 45 minutes to an hour could help set the tone for your sleep. In fact, a positive connection has been made between adults that took an average of 39 minutes between bedtime and shuteye time.

Go to sleep when you’re tired

Going to bed when you’re still somewhat awake may be primarily responsible for why you could easily get swept up by distractions such as social media, TV and work. But if you go to bed when you are actually ready to fall asleep, you may resist the urge to grab anything but your pillow and sheets.

Final Thoughts

To enhance your sleep and ultimate well-being, establish boundaries, eliminate distractions and train your mind to only associate the bedroom as a place for sleep and sex. And you may start to see an improvement in both realms.